cinaed:

omnbvc:

i am demisexual meaning i am only attracted to those born of gods or who are themselves a deity. move out of the way assholes, i’m gonna fuck zeus

(Source: crwnly)

  • me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
  • me driving: say your prayers

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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maxeth:

what the fuck is going on

(Source: oldspice)

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

the-cupcake-crusader:

seriousjones:

if wrestling is fake, explain this

I don’t want to

the-cupcake-crusader:

seriousjones:

if wrestling is fake, explain this

I don’t want to

stability:

churrodestroyer:

stability:

when your next victim finally comes into the stall

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This is fucked up. I’m crying.

aw no, dont cry. come sit down lets talk about it

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I could be wrong. But I feel like you’re still miserable. 

sliferexecutiveproducer:

furiclaus:

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you know when u hate someone so much u start imagining their face in the sky?

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because they beat u at a card game?

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seto kaiba knows

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"Remember who you are, Kaiba…"

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"…"

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"A loser."

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(Source: cospinol)